Is it just me or do song lyrics sound slightly ridiculous when they aren’t being sung?  All those “yeah’s,” “uh huh’s,” and “oh baby’s,” make me laugh.

Here they are in no particular order whatsoever:

1. You say that I don’t love you. You say my love is untrue.
Well darlin’ if I was a rich man I’d prove my love to you.
I’d buy you a diamond ring and a new fur coat or two.
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Mike Snider – If My Nose Was Running Money

 

Not only is this irresponsible, it’s just gross.  The woman doesn’t want your booger money.

If my nose was running money, would I consult a doctor?  You know, I just don’t know, I just don’t know. 

 

2. People say I’m a crazy son of a gun
‘Cause I’ve made me a couple million never saved a one.

Darryl Worley – Living in the Here and Now

MC Hammer did that.  Now all he has left is a pair of parachute pants; or did they take those too?

Stop.  Or it’s Hammer Time.

 

3. I’m gonna marry for money 
I’ll be so damn rich it ain’t funny 
I’m gonna have me a trust fund, yacht club, hot tub piece of the pie 
Find me a sweet sugar mama 
With a whole lot of zeros and commas 
Don’t really care if she loves me 
She can even be ugly 
I’m gonna marry for money

Trace Adkins – Marry for Money

No comment.

4. Yeah the big boss man, he likes to crack that whip
I ain’t nothing but a number on his time-card slip,
I give him 40 hours and a piece of my soul…

Well all week long I’m a real nobody,
But I just punched out and its paycheck Friday,
Weekends here, good God almighty,
I’m going to get drunk and be somebody
Yeah, yeah, yeah…

Toby Keith – Get Drunk and Be Somebody

So let me get this straight, you are trading a “piece of your soul” for alcohol?  Why not stay in tonight and work on your resume?  Oooo, or better yet, save your money and start your own brewery!  That’s what we call a win-win-win.

 

5. Tonight’s the night
Let’s live it up
I got my money
Let’s spend it up

Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling

 

Ahhh, so tonight is the night.  Good thing you told me, I thought tomorrow was the night.  Wait, what are we going to do tomorrow if we spend all the money tonight?

 

6. Toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it
But keep the fives, twenty’s completely separate
And yeah I’ll be in a whole new tax bracket

Travie Mccoy – Billionaire

 

This makes zero sense.  Do you know how much “a couple milli” would weigh?  Are you just going to carry that around in your pocket?  Maybe you were just planning on writing a check; but that seems a bit anti-climactic. 

At least you won’t be in that “whole new tax bracket” for long.

7. While he was scheming
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
Can’t believe that I caught my man cheatin’
So I found another way to make him pay for it all

So I went
To Neiman-Marcus on a shopping spree…

And I paid
All the bills about a month too late…

Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit ‘Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times

Blu Cantrell – Hit ‘Em Up Style

 

So he cheated and now you are going to punish him by ruining both of your credit scores and making sure that you both end up broke?  Sounds like someone needs to go back to the drawing board.

 

 

Share some of your favorite nonsensical lyrics!